Everything I have and Everything I am.

Originally posted January 21, 2008, but now, that I am finally able to bring myself to a closer walk with God, I can admit that I wasn't able to do this back then.  So now, I will start.  I have given this over to God, because only HE can do this and show me what to write to glorify Him.  


I want to make these words not be a stumbling block to someone else, and I want them to honor God, honor my church, honor my family and honor myself.


I have for too long, "played" at being a "Good Church Girl" as Angela Thomas calls it and while I am a Good church girl,  I want to be more than a "Good Church Girl"
I want to be a Good "GODLY" Girl.  I want everything that I do.  Everything that I am.  To honor Him.


So I start, this journey.... with a spirit of humility.... so that HE can speak through me.




(Original Post January 21, 2008)
Today I start to journal my life.

I listened to our pastor yesterday and he said some things that really felt like he was preaching just to me. "LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING, BUT TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART" Not just with what you want him to have, but everything you have and everything that you are.

My life has been filled with turmoil and drama and I'm actively trying to change that for the better and accept life as "it is what it is" and what God gives me to handle is just that.

However, you have to trust God. Trust God with blind faith. And just believing and just being a Christian doesn't do that.

I've realized that I don't have that blind trust in God. So, my test to myself is to put that blind trust in God with everything I have and everything that I am.

Will it happen overnight? I hope. But I doubt it, because the whole time that I'm trying to give up my "thought of control" and have that trust, I'm going to be tested and tempted and tried by Satan himself.

The things I will encounter, will be Satan giving me the thoughts to not have that blind faith and trust.

So I am from this day forward going to trust that God will take me through everything and no matter what, he will never let me down.